By Austin Silver
Fashion Commentator

i swear they're real

Speaking of Anderson, who does Pamela think she's kidding? She went from a B-cup to double Ds and then down to a firm-as-terra C-cup. And when I say firm, I mean you could bounce quarters off these contraptions.

Pamela Anderson Before

Pamela Anderson After

Among the women who vow that their breasts are real are supermodel Tyra Banks and, of course, Britney Spears. After Britney went into the hospital for a "knee operation," the healing process miraculously spawned boobs for the teen sensation.

It's still a debate whether her breasts are real, fake or enhanced with that illusion-powered Wonderbra thingamajig. I'm sure that every guy is familiar with the bra that's filled with padding or water or something along those lines, then once it's removed, what you thought you were getting ends up in the bra and what you're left with is a pair of itsy-bitsy teeny-weenies.

something added, something taken away

So what are the most popular surgeries among men and women today? Well it's quite obvious that in women's case, breasts are the first things that need a little saline power. Next comes liposuction, in which women suck the unwanted fat out of their bodies (gyms take too long for the desired results, you know). Third on the list of "things to remove" is the infamous rhinoplasty, or as it is more familiarly known, a nose job. After that come the more menial and petty things like face-lifts and wrinkle removal.

Nowadays, more and more men have begun going under the knife as well. Breast implants aren't the No. 1 things on their list, but liposuction certainly is. Next in line comes that renowned nose job and following in at a close third is eyelid surgery.

Unbelievably, another popular surgery among men is called gynecomastia -- that is where men have the excess fat that they've developed in their breasts removed. That sounds real attractive.

Well, it seems that beauty has literally become skin deep and people everywhere are taking lessons from celebrities and having a job or two performed on themselves.

After all, how many times have you watched one of those "Look At Me" talk shows (Jenny Jones, Ricki Lake, Maury Povich...), and witnessed some made-over woman who looks like she just walked in from Sunset Boulevard?

I guess we're all looking for a cure for that inevitable ailment of death that will strike us all. Unfortunately, plastic surgery may give an appearance of youth, but the insides are what truly count because if your heart doesn't beat rhythmically or your brain sometimes malfunctions, no plastic surgeon will be able to rectify that.